For the Sake of us
by zielddhy
Summary: You don't love me," Neji hissed, "You left me." When a mission had gone wrong, the last thing Shikamaru expected was to meet Neji again. Not after the Hyuuga had suddenly gone missing two years ago. Shika x Neji, implied m-preg.


**Warning: **Shounen-ai (boy x boy love) and M-preg implied.

**Dedication:** This story is dedicated to **D.A Maxwell**, the very own author who managed to show me the way of light through her story, 'Chrysanthemum'. Hope you like it! *kiss*

**Author Notes:** Oh. My. God. This is the longest one-shot I've ever write. I didn't think it would be _this_ long, but here it is. I realized that this pairing already received a lot of fanfictions, but another one of them wouldn't hurt, ne? No pairing will ever receive enough amounts of fanfictions, no matter how many they are, so in order to keep ShikaNeji's spirit intact, let us all write about them!! ^^

For me this story is actually a quite hard one to write, because I have never done a story with so little humor before. *sweats* Moreover, it's hard tried to keep the angst and tense atmosphere, but with midterm over and got accepted in one of the hardest competition ever is enough to make anybody dance with glee. Hopefully, I can keep the 'dark' theme here. Oh, and forgive me for any grammar mistakes, I've proofread it three times, but I can't help but leave it if there are some of them left. ^^;;

Please enjoy!

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**For the Sake of Us**

**By Zielddhy**

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Rain splattered on the ground as Shikamaru ducked yet another kunai being aimed at him. Lightning and thunder sparked in the sky when he leaped backwards and landed on the dampened ground below. He spared a quick glance around and cursed when he realized that he was being surrounded by no less than four other ninjas.

_It wasn't supposed to be like this_.

The assassination mission which supposed to be a simple one turned out to be very dangerous. Although the target, a wealthy-but-corrupted yakuza, had been successfully eliminated, the yakuza's son was more than ready to pursue whoever killed his father. He immediately sent out the best ninjas he had to hunt Shikamaru down and seemed to be doing a good job so far. They managed to track Shikamaru and had chased him since then. The Leaf jounin had successfully reduced the number of pursuers, but still it wasn't enough – there were still an adequate number of them remaining to overpower and take him into custody. It was only a matter of time, really.

They had been chasing him for nearly five hours now, and Shikamaru began to feel tired. His legs felt heavier with each leap. Just as he thought he had no power left, a kunai came out of nowhere and hit on one of his pursuers. The said pursuer was now crouching on the ground, holding his injured hand tightly. Shikamaru immediately threw his own kunai to the three remaining pursuers and managed to put them into a halt.

The Nara was too preoccupied and didn't realize when a figure dressed in black grabbed his arm and lead him away from the battlefield. Together they leaped among the trees, trying as fast as they could to escape.

Shikamaru stared at the leaping figure in front of him. He was sure that this person was a male, because the hand holding him right now was too large for a woman's hand. The person had his back on him, but the Leaf jounin would recognize that back everywhere.

Shikamaru breathed, "Neji…"

As they came into a clearing, Shikamaru was more than tired, he was exhausted. He almost couldn't open his eyes anymore, but he didn't want to let Neji out of his sight, not after how Neji had suddenly gone missing two years ago. He stumbled as he jumped down from a tree. Swaying a little, he tried to focus his eyes and noticed that they were currently in front of a cottage.

Neji went into the cottage without speaking, leaving the door open for Shikamaru and the Nara quickly followed his friend.

The cottage was small, only a room with a bed, a cupboard, small stove, table (with only one chair, Shikamaru duly noted) and at one corner, a small crib. The last part made Shikamaru wonder, but he decided to let it pass. There was no picture, no tapestry, no calligraphy or painting. The walls were left bare; except for one corner on which Neji had hung his forehead protector. The only hint to show that somebody actually lived there was only a half-eaten dinner on the table. Or at least Shikamaru thought it was a dinner.

Shikamaru was shocked to find his ex-boyfriend, the once proud and slightly arrogant Hyuuga, now lived in such modesty. He still remembered vividly how the long-haired shinobi scrunched his nose in disgust whenever they came to molds and fungus. Yes, they were ninjas, but the fact still remained that Neji Hyuuga came from a noble family. Although Shikamaru himself was a noble, the Nara was not so uptight – they didn't indulge themselves in any form of luxurious surrounding or ridiculously large number of servants. A lavish upbringing like what the Hyuuga had experienced was not something that can be changed easily; even if the person was Neji Hyuuga, who had had the lazy Shikamaru as a lover.

Neji could feel Shikamaru's penetrating gaze when he unceremoniously pulled off his clothes to change into more comfortable ones.

_He's still so beautiful, _Shikamaru thought. Neji's skin was still flawless and his hair was still the smooth black silk that Shikamaru remembered running his fingers through countless of times. Although the once soft hands were now calloused, Neji's long fingers remained as graceful as ever.

A deep slash of long wound, although already healed, that went across Neji's abdomen did not escape Shikamaru's intelligent mind. He wanted to ask about it, but decided to leave all the interrogation later. Now was not the time to prod over the past, no matter how much Shikamaru needed to know the truth. Neji gave him a towel to dry his hair and body with, which Shikamaru was grateful for. The damp clothes sticking to his skin were extremely uncomfortable, and he was glad to get out of them as the Hyuuga now handed him a pair of trousers and shirt.

"This should fit you."

Shikamaru let out a deep breath at the sound of Neji's voice – how he had missed hearing them. The same voice that had existed in his life for more than four years, before all abruptly coming to an end two years ago. Just as the leaf Jounin finished making himself presentably dry, a plate full of onigiri was set on the table, accompanied with some pickles and a bowl of miso soup. The fact that Neji still remembered that these were his favorite food allowed Shikamaru to feel a surge of hope. Maybe, just maybe, Neji and he could overcome all the problems between them and return to Konoha together.

"There's a stream nearby if you want to take a bath, but it's still raining outside, so I suggest you have a few hour's rest first after eating those. The sun will rise soon. You must conserve your strength to journey home first thing in the morning." Neji's sharp voice shocked him from his musing. So, it was not only that Neji was unwilling to come home with him, he was also eager to get rid of Shikamaru. A pang of hurt made way into Shikamaru's heart, but he chose to ignore it, not until he knew the truth of what had happened all this time since Neji had gone missing.

"No, we still need to talk. How did you end up living in this house? What happened? What about your family, your clan? What made you ran away from Konoha? Why did you leave…me?" He knew the last part wasn't supposed to come out, but Shikamaru let it slip out. Neji stood in front of him right now, and Shikamaru was more than determined to make it alright between them once again. He still loved the other man, even after two years, no matter how many frivolous relationships Shikamaru had had with others until now; his feelings for Neji still remained, deeply embroidered inside the folds of his heart.

"We will find time to talk, Nara, but right now your body needs to rest."

"But-"

"I said, later," said Neji in a commanding tone, signaling the end of conversation.

Shikamaru had no choice but to obey and grudgingly made his way to the bed and lay over it. As soon as his head touched the soft pillow, he immediately became sleepy and willingly let himself fall into a deep slumber, with Neji's scent overwhelming his sense.

True to the Hyuuga's words, morning came too soon for Shikamaru, but the leaf jounin forced himself to open his eyes. He still felt tired and weary, but much better than before. With blurry eyes, he managed to see Neji's slender form standing behind the stove, cooking breakfast. It made such a peculiar sight for Shikamaru, because he had never seen the other man lingering in the kitchen, much less cooking before.

Shikamaru dragged himself out of bed, feeling a little guilty when he saw a blanket laid rumpled on the floor, a sign that Neji had indeed slept on the cold, hard ground for the entire night.

"We'll talk now." For someone who had just woken up for two minutes, Shikamaru's voice was too firm for Neji's taste, but he decided to let it go.

"What do you want to talk about, Nara?" Neji didn't even turn around and continued to stir the content of the pot.

Shikamaru narrowed his eyes as Neji obviously showed no interest to take part in this conversation, but he was now more determined than ever to know the truth from Neji's very own lips.

"Why do you live here alone, by yourself? Where is your family? Why did you leave?"

Neji remained silent for a moment before walking away from the stove, feeling Shikamaru's eyes watching him intently as he made his way to the table. He grabbed an old rug on his way and began to wipe the table, preparing it as the meal was ready and they were about to eat breakfast. "I am no longer a shinobi. My clan disowned me," he said.

"What? But they said you left."

Neji snorted before continuing, "Of course they would say it, it's very typical of them. Who wants such a disappointment, such disgrace, such_ blasphemy_ in their family, especially in a noble family like Hyuuga?" he spat the last word bitterly.

Shikamaru said nothing, but the fog had slowly lifted. Apparently, Neji had done something unforgiveable for the Hyuuga clan, and now Shikamaru needed to know what it was. When it was clear that Neji would no longer provide him with any form of explanation, he started to look around, trying to find a clue or anything and found a stack of clothes on the cupboard. The Nara strode over the room in purposeful steps and grabbed one of the clothes. It was a dress, too small for anyone but an infant.

Neji's grip on the rug tightened as he saw Shikamaru took hold of the dress. With an IQ more than 200, Shikamaru was bound to figure things out any time now. Fully intending to ignore the tight knot in his chest, Neji went back to the stove and turned it off. He poured the content into two bowls and placed them on the table. It was not much for breakfast, only porridge, but that was all he could manage for now and the Nara had to deal with it.

"Breakfast is ready. Eat, Nara." Hopefully, he was able to distract Shikamaru this way. But his plan obviously failed when the other spoke.

"Whose is it?"

"What?"

"The baby, whose is it?"

"What makes you think there's a baby here? No one lives here but me," Neji said crossly.

"I'm not blind Neji. These small clothes, that crib. Why else would they be here?" Shikamaru explained and decided to press further. "Tell me. Whose is it? Is it yours?"

Neji felt an anger building up inside of him as Shikamaru repeatedly referred the baby as an 'it'.

"Yes, _she's_ mine."

Shikamaru felt a pang in his heart. He couldn't bear the image of Neji being in someone else's arms, even a woman. A spark of jealousy crossed his mind, but he knew it was not the time. There were other things much more important right now.

"And where is her mother?"

"She didn't have any mother. I was the one who gave birth to her."

"A man cannot give birth, Neji." Shikamaru scoffed.

"Have you forgotten everything Iruka-sensei taught us at the academy?"

Then Shikamaru remembered. The male branch member of Hyuuga clan could bear children. The Byakugan that Hyuuga clan possessed wasn't something they received for free after all. In order to get the Byakugan, a trade off, a sacrifice, must be made. The clan elders decided then, that every three generations, a male from branch member must carry a burden inside them, in the form of a child. They must endure the pain of giving birth, which for them was twice more painful than a normal delivery process because they had to cut open their abdomen, for their body and bone structure were not designed to carry a child after all. The clan elders tried to coax the branch members that this was actually an honor, but the harsh truth remained: it was just another form of the curse placed by the _Souke_ on the _Bunke_.

"Well, why are you not wedded then? Where is her fath-her _other_ father?"

"That is nothing of your concern, Nara. Now eat and leave my house." Neji began to eat his share of porridge.

Shikamaru crossed the small house and slammed the dress on the table.

"I am not leaving, Hyuuga. Not until you tell me everything."

"What is there to tell? There's nothing left that you need to know."

"Who is the other father? Where is he? Why is he _not_ with you?"

"I already said it's nothing of your con-"

"It is of my concern!" Shikamaru banged his fist on the table, and it creaked in protest. "It is if he left you like this!" Usually he didn't lose his calm so quick, but Neji's unconcerned behavior of the situation infuriated him. _Damn it, how can he still act so indifferent? _

Neji narrowed his eyes and said, "Restrain yourself, Nara, before you destroy my house." A hint of anger was clearly shown in his voice.

The Nara smirked; at last he was able to extract another reaction from the other man. Although it was clear that Neji was on the brink being angry, at least now he had his focus on Shikamaru rather on a bowl of damn porridge instead.

"Why is he not here, Neji?" Shikamaru repeated his question.

Realizing that the other clearly had no intention to leave, Neji sighed before answering in whispered voice, "He doesn't know, Shikamaru."

Hearing Neji spoke his name in such tender voice made Shikamaru's heart clenched. God, how badly he wanted to hold Neji like he used to. Although a part of him clearly missed the Hyuuga, Shikamaru couldn't help but feeling irritated at the other man. How could anyone be so stupid? What kind of idiot didn't tell their partner that they are pregnant?

"How could you not tell him? Every father has his own right to know his child."

"Because I chose not to tell him, Nara. Isn't it obvious? I don't want him to know."

"But why?"

"Since when have I had to tell you everything?" Neji snarled. Shikamaru's prodding questions now were starting to get under his skin.

"Since whoever the bastard is left you to take care of the baby by yourself. Yet you miscarried, didn't you Neji?"

Neji winced at those words. Yes it was true that he miscarried, he was alone at the time when he gave birth. With no one around to help the process, it was only natural that the baby died, plus Neji was already sick from the early term of pregnancy. Being banished into an exile by his own clan, having to learn how to survive alone in the forest with so little food by himself – all the conditions reduced Neji's health from simple illness to malnourishment. Neji closed his eyes as he let the painful memories of seeing his baby dying in his arms wash over him, but he couldn't help it when a corner of his mind silently wondered if Shikamaru realized he was calling himself a bastard.

"Yes, I miscarried. She died two hours after she was born. All the more reason why I shouldn't tell my partner, then. Now that you already know, will you kindly leave?" Neji couldn't keep the sarcasm off his voice. He really wanted to be alone right now. His encounter and conversation with Shikamaru would break him down if it lasted longer than this.

Shikamaru sighed. "Neji, I know we are not… in good terms right now, but I have to tell you this: even if the baby died, a father still has a right to know that he has a child. Does it even occur to you that if the father was here, you would have her right now in your very own arms?" Shikamaru tactfully pointed. This was a harsh truth, yes, but still he had to convince Neji that what he did was wrong.

"Thank you for telling me the common knowledge, Nara, but it was all in the past. I've made my bed and now I have to lie in it. You know what; it'd be great if you just leave right now and we'll go on with our lives."

"Why are you being so difficult?" Shikamaru was distressed right now. It was not only that Neji just provided him with sufficient-but-still-not-enough answers, the fact that Neji was more than eager to make him leave hurt him. He still loved the other man, but clearly it was only one-sided now. "Why don't you just tell me everything, Neji? If you don't want to give me clear answers, why did you help me anyway? You certainly don't want me to be here."

"Don't flatter yourself, Shikamaru," Neji flippantly denied, "I was merely helping fellow shinobi."

"You're not a shinobi anymore."

Neji winced at those words, but he countered, "You don't need to be a shinobi to help anybody."

"How generous of you," Shikamaru sneered.

Neji hissed, "And what reason do you want me to say? That I helped you because I love you?"

At that Shikamaru had no answer. He knew that he still had feelings for Neji, hell he still _cared _for the other man. Seeing Neji again was enough to make the dim fire inside his heart blaze once more. Shikamaru couldn't ignore it any longer. He still loved Neji.

After a while, the Leaf Jounin sighed, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pried into that; your reason is your own, Neji. I shouldn't have asked. I apologize."

"Apology not accepted. Will you just leave and go?"

"No." _Not until you go home with me_, Shikamaru silently added.

Neji groaned inwardly and tried to make his voice sound firm, "I've told you what I need you to know. Now please leave."

"But Neji, surely you don't mean to-"

"Go."

Shikamaru froze. A flash of pain that flitted over his eyes didn't go unnoticed by Neji. But the long-haired man turned away, now facing the window, staring at the dense forest out there. "Go home, Shikamaru," he whispered.

"But I AM home, don't you see?"

Neji remained silent.

"I love you."

At this Neji spun around and Shikamaru immediately regretted what he had said. The Hyuuga's eyes now were blazing with anger.

"You don't love me," he hissed, "You left me."

Neji couldn't keep his anger under control. "You said you want to talk, Nara. Fine, we'll talk." He crossed his arms in defense, challengingly staring into the other's eyes.

Shikamaru cleared his throat. Well, it went not exactly like he had hoped, but at least now they were talking. He got what he wanted right? Hopefully, Neji would provide him with enough clues to know the truth. "Okay. Let's start with-"

"Let's start with her." Neji's voice cut him short.

Shikamaru blinked. "Who?"

Neji narrowed his eyes and snapped. "Don't play dumb with me, Shikamaru. I know you know who I am talking about. Now speak."

This time, it was Shikamaru who wished that he _had_ left. He cursed under his breath. Now he had no choice but to tell Neji everything. He knew he had done wrong and he had been regretting it ever since, but Neji didn't know that. By the time Shikamaru had realized that he was at fault, Neji had gone missing already. Yes, Shikamaru still tried to find him, to apologize and to tell him that he was sorry, but even using his influence as the heir of the prestigious Nara clan was not enough to find Neji. Damn, the Hyuuga really knew how to cover his tracks. Therefore, the Nara didn't have a chance to straighten out everything. Until now. Well, now would be the right time to make everything alright once more, even if it meant he had to confess everything. And by everything he meant _everything_.

"It was a mistake. Ino and I didn't love each other."

"Then what was that? An act of…adultery? Is it what it was?" Neji turned around and faced the window once more.

"It was not adultery, it was not infidelity. It was a mistake. That's it, Neji, it was a mistake."

"Yes, but you liked to repeat your mistakes then. How many times was it that you had fucked her? Hm? Four, five times? And those were what I knew. What about the other times that you did it with her behind my back? Seven, eight times? Perhaps more?"

Shikamaru ran a hand in his hair, a sign of agitation. This had become too troublesome for him, but he could not back out now. "Neji, we had a fight. I needed someone at my side at that time, and you weren't there. You and I, we both were young, we were nineteen for God's sake, we made our mistakes. We were both inexperienced in the matter of relationship, let alone love."

"Maybe we are a mistake too." Neji still had his back on him, but Shikamaru could see the slight quivering of the other's shoulders.

Shikamaru was silent for a moment before asked quietly "You perceive our love as a mistake?"

"Our love? _Our love?_ You never loved me, Nara. You… you want to marry her and you left me!" Neji had turned around by now and Shikamaru found himself staring at Neji's pale eyes. The Leaf jounin did not dare to say anything until he heard Neji whisper, "What kind of love is that?"

"She conceived my child, Hyuuga! I am still a responsible man," Shikamaru tried to defend himself.

Neji's eyes widened. He didn't know that Ino was pregnant with Shikamaru's child. God, this was worse than what he had imagined. Yes, maybe Shikamaru was a responsible man, after all. _But not responsible enough for **my** child. _The long-haired man silently added.

Shikamaru continued, "Besides, she's my friend and I do love her, enough to be with and marry her. What is it that you want me to do? Abandon a woman I impregnated? Huh?" challenged the Konoha jounin.

Neji turned around and faced the window again. "All the more reason why you should leave now, then. You should go home, Nara, and be with the woman you love," he spat the last word bitterly.

Shikamaru sighed and didn't say anything, waiting for Neji to continue.

"You know what? I tried so hard to make you love me, I even turned a blind eye after the first night when you had come to her, hoping that it was just a one-night stand and you'd come back to me. But how wrong I was," Neji chuckled sarcastically. "How stupid I was. I should have known it wouldn't be a one-time thing, I should have known that you were not capable of faithfulness, that you were too laid-back and untamed at the same time."

Hearing this, the Leaf jounin started to feel his anger rising, yet the other still continued, "You cannot and will not stay faithful to just one person. You will always try to-"

"Enough."Shikamaru's voice cut him off.

"You don't know anything about me, Neji, so don't you dare act like you do," his voice now trembled with anger. "Who do you think you are, Hyuuga? You accuse me for being unfaithful, but what about yourself? You…you gave birth to a baby, for God's sake. How many men have you spread your legs for, I wonder? Ten, twenty men? I doubt you even know who the baby's father is." A part of him felt jealous to think that Neji was in the arms of another man, but he couldn't stop himself. "I didn't know you were such a whore."

As soon as those words left his lips, Shikamaru felt a metallic, coppery taste in his mouth. In one swift motion Neji's arm had moved, and his fist connected with Shikamaru's cheek. The Leaf jounin stared at the man in front of him as a pair of lilac eyes blazed heatedly. Neji was no longer angry, he was furious.

"How dare you?" The Hyuuga hissed. But he couldn't keep his expression calm anymore. Being called as a whore by the man he loved was nearly enough to make him say the one thing he desperately wanted Shikamaru to know. He was on the brink of crying now, but he kept his tears at bay and stubbornly refused to let them fall. "How…how could you…My baby, she was…"

Shikamaru watched as the face opposite him changed from angry to disbelieving, until Neji dropped his gaze to the ground. When he lifted his head a moment later, his face was stoic and he glared challengingly at the Nara. If Shikamaru didn't know better, Neji would have fooled him with his now emotionless expression, but Shikamaru swore he saw pain underneath his ivory mask.

Now wait a minute. If Neji's reaction to his accusation was this violent, it meant that he didn't sleep around like Shikamaru thought he did. It meant that he was the only one Neji had ever slept with. It meant that…

Shit.

Double shit.

"Neji," Shikamaru hesitantly asked, "The baby, is she mine?"

"You know what? Don't you ever think that just because you were my lover before, you can easily make me spill everything you want to know. Even if she's yours, do you think I'd tell you?" Neji snorted. "And they say you're a genius."

"Is it so hard to answer me, Hyuuga? You only need to say yes or no, it's that simple."

"Why do you want to know so much anyway? Why does it matter so much to you? My baby's not here anymore. I have my life and you have your own life. Why don't we just go our separate ways?"

"Yes or no, Neji?"

"Just go home, Shikamaru."

"Yes or no, Hyuuga?!" Shikamaru snapped

"Yes damn it, she's yours! She's your child, Nara!" Neji was shouting now. As soon as those words left his mouth, he regretted it and he did the only thing that came across his mind: he ran.

Shikamaru could only stare at the long-haired man's retreating back. His brain was still processing the information and came up only with one thing: Oh God. This was so fucked up.

Shikamaru knew Neji wasn't in the right state of mind now, because he could trace the other's track easily. Usually, it would be very hard – hell it _had been_ incredibly hard to track Neji down. But now Shikamaru saw the footprints everywhere. He wasted no time to follow it and soon came across a stream, with small waterfall behind.

There. Shikamaru's eyes softened as he spotted Neji. The Hyuuga was swimming and pretending not to notice Shikamaru's presence, yet the Leaf jounin knew better. There was no way on earth Neji didn't know that he was there. He was still a shinobi despite everything, and a Hyuuga ninja at that. Shikamaru stepped closer and found a flat-surfaced rock before sitting down on it. From there, he just continued to watch Neji swim. The water was so clear that he could effortlessly see Neji's body, even the part which was under water.

_Damn, he's still so beautiful,_ thought Shikamaru. Living alone in the forest would change anyone, but Neji was still as beautiful as he remembered.

"Neji," Shikamaru called out, yet Neji was still pretending that he had not heard him.

The Leaf jounin stood, pulled off his clothes, and let them fall to the ground. He then stepped into the water, desperately praying to whatever god above so Neji would not leave. His prayer was answered in some way. Neji didn't leave. He merely turned around, his eyes cast down, and stepped away from him. Shikamaru stopped in his track.

"I'm sorry," Shikamaru whispered. It was so soft that Neji almost missed it. Shikamaru's voice was overpowered by the sound of falling water behind. Yet he didn't budge and continued to stand his ground, refusing to show any kind of reaction to the other's plea.

Shikamaru swam slightly closer and Neji again took a step back.

The game continued until Neji felt his back hit the hard slope of the river. Shikamaru continued his advance and Neji pressed his back tightly against the rock, determined to keep a distance between them. But as he had nowhere to go, Shikamaru now stood in front of him. The Leaf jounin raised his hand and saw Neji wince – as if he was going to hit him.

Shikamaru blinked and said, "I'm not going to hurt you."

_You already have, _Neji silently added.

The Nara now placed his hand on the other's cheek, but Neji jerked his face away, and tried futilely to take a step back. He knew his back was pressed so tight against the edge of the river until it hurt. Still, he couldn't help but push closer against the rock.

Shikamaru tried once more and place a hand on Neji's arm. Again, the Hyuuga yanked his arm away. Shikamaru winced as he heard Neji's elbow colliding loudly with the hard surface behind, yet Neji didn't seem to mind.

"Don't touch me," Neji ordered although his voice cracked slightly. "Don't touch me, I'm not her."

"Neji…"

"No. Don't touch me, Shikamaru, please," the last part was added in a most whispered, soft but empty voice as if he had no life left in him. Shikamaru closed his eyes as he heard this and for the first time he realized how much he had hurt Neji. It was not only about how he had slept with Ino, but also because he had betrayed whatever trust and faith Neji had put upon him. By betraying it, he was as good as saying that he didn't love Neji, or even cared about him at all. The fact that he didn't manage to find Neji didn't help at all. He couldn't imagine what kind of suffering he had subjected the other man to. Living alone in this dark forest, no one to speak with or talk to, not to mention giving birth – Shikamaru winced at the thought of that.

Yet he still tried to reach out once more and this time he managed to wrap his hand around Neji's right wrist and embraced his reluctant beloved. The reaction was immediate. The Hyuuga fought him and struggled with a force that Shikamaru didn't even know Neji had. He even tried to push Shikamaru away with his left hand, but Shikamaru was determined to have none of it. Neji was in front of him right now, he couldn't bear to leave just like that. The Hyuuga continued to struggle, "No! Let me go! I don't want you to touch me! Let me go!"

"Listen to me!" The Nara shouted with a commanding voice. "Listen to me!" He tightened his grip around the near hysterical man in his arms. "I LOVE YOU!" he yelled almost desperately as Neji's struggle didn't seem like it was going to stop anytime soon. "I love you, Neji! I cannot let you go once more, I still…love…you…" Shikamaru's voice faded as Neji stopped struggling and grew limp in his arms.

"You don't love me, you love her." The words were barely whispered.

"I do not love her," Shikamaru assured Neji again. "I love only you."

When Neji didn't answer, the Nara drew him close and embraced the other. They stayed together until Neji broke the silence.

"She died, Shikamaru, only two hours after she was born. She was so beautiful, so perfect, and yet she died. I'm sorry, I really am. I have failed to protect her," mumbled Neji against the other man's chest. Shikamaru felt the slight tremor of Neji's body and he knew that Neji was crying. He automatically tightened his grip.

"It's alright, Neji. It was not your fault," said Shikamaru, "Shh.. It wasn't your fault, don't worry."

Neji cried and Shikamaru let him to do just that. There were too much sadness and painful things Neji had experienced, and Shikamaru couldn't help but feel guilty.

"I'm sorry Neji. I really am. I shouldn't have left you that night."

"Yeah, you shouldn't." After a long pause, he added, "But I forgive you. Don't you ever do that again," Neji reprimanded him.

"Never." Shikamaru vowed.

Starteing to feel a little cold, they both got out of the river. When they had finished putting on their clothes, Shikamaru said, "Let's go home to Konoha, Neji. Together, both of us."

Neji stopped buttoning his shirt and could only stare as the Nara came closer and hugged him again. "You and I, we were both inexperienced, so we might make some mistakes at first," Shikamaru explained. "So, why don't we make mistakes together, and talk about our mistakes as we eat, sleep, and live together?"

"You're married Ino, Shikamaru. I cannot just…what?" Neji asked as he heard the other chuckled.

"She now lives with Chouji, they are now married."

"Oh. But, what about your child?"

"Ino miscarried as well."

Neji gasped and looked up. The Nara's features were grim, and Neji could easily see the hurt buried deep behind the grey of his eyes. But they softened as he stared into Neji's own pale eyes. He raised his right hand and placed it on Neji's cheek.

"I've lost two children Neji, please don't make me lose you as well," Shikamaru said while his right hand caresses Neji's cheek lovingly.

Neji didn't say anything. Instead, he closed his eyes and basked in the contentment as he felt the warmth of Shikamaru's hand.

"Please Neji, come home with me." Shikamaru whispered against Neji's skin. His lips were now hovering near the other's ear.

"I can't Shikamaru, you know that," said Neji.

"Why?"

"My clan, they would never accept someone they have disowned before. They would object most profoundly at my return, they would-"

"Who the hell care about them? Let them be. Let them argue among themselves, let them fight. Let them object and say anything they want. But I am not going to let you go again, Neji. You are more precious to me than any other. I don't care how influential your clan is; I will never let them take you away from me again. Never." Shikamaru said with such determination in his voice. As if to prove his point, he tightened his hold around Neji.

The Hyuuga felt his chest tighten and could only nod.

"Besides, it's not like I'm going to make a war between Nara and Hyuuga clan anyway, it's too troublesome."

Neji smiled as he heard these familiar words. God, how long had it been since he had last heard those all too familiar words.

"Let's go home Neji, for the sake of us."

"Yes, let us."

Shikamaru breathed in relief hearing those words from Neji's lips. Once all the tension was gone, his stomach growled, reminding him that he needed to take nourishment after all.

"As much as I want to eat you right now, I think I better get real food. Do you mind if I have that porridge?" asked Shikamaru.

Neji laughed and gestured the other guy to sit down. "By all means, it's all yours."

**The End**

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**Author Notes:** Alright, that's all I guess. I do think that the ending is a bit of awkward though and seem quite rushed, what do you guys think? Please leave a comment! Shikamaru is a very hard character to write, because with an IQ less than 200 myself, I don't know what's going on in his head. ^^ Unlike Shikamaru, Neji isn't that difficult to read, so it's easier to write what his reactions would be like. Hopefully I'm not trespassing the line of OOC-ness here, so tell me what you think!


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